


Broken Attachments

by chaotic_carisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27287983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaotic_carisi/pseuds/chaotic_carisi
Summary: Rafael had been alone for so long, but he didn’t mind. The humans never bothered him, so he never bothered them. But Sonny? Sonny was a people person. He was more than happy to be among them, working with them, living as one of them. It took a good few decades, but Rafael grew to enjoy being with the humans as well.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	Broken Attachments

“I look ridiculous.” Rafael sighed as he turned to face Sonny. “I mean, vampires? Really?” Talk about bad taste. Letting Sonny choose the outfits was a bad idea. 

“No, you look amazing!” Sonny placed a hand on his shoulder, and Rafael felt himself smile as his husband broke into an infectious grin. “Come on, you gotta put the teeth on.” 

“Oh really?” Rafael felt himself flash a sharp grin towards Sonny before he could stop himself. 

“You better watch that at the party.” Sonny said, suddenly serious. He was constantly thinking the worst, fearing they would be discovered. 

“I know, Sonny,” he reached up and tuck a stray hair behind his partners' ear. “I’ve been around longer than you, remember?” A lot longer, he thought. Sonny knew it too. 

“I know, I know, I'm just nervous. What if we slip up? I don’t want to move again.” Rafael hated seeing his husband so sad, but there was no avoiding it. Accidents happened, and the only way they could stay safe – stay hidden - was to move. “Promise me we aren’t moving again?”

Rafael sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, taking Sonny’s hand in his own. “You know I can’t promise that. I wish I could, my love, but I can't.” Sonny nodded, defeated. 

Sometimes, like now, Rafael hated that he was older. He hated knowing more, and he hated making these types of decisions. He was only a few centuries older than Sonny, but he still remembered how lonely those years were with him. Sure, he had met other vampires along the way, but they already hate their mates, they were already with others, so it was Rafael, and Rafael alone. 

Until he met Sonny at least. Rafael had been alone for so long, but he didn’t mind. The humans never bothered him, so he never bothered them. But Sonny? Sonny was a people person. He was more than happy to be among them, working with them, living as one of them. It took a good few decades, but Rafael grew to enjoy being with the humans as well. 

The difference still, was that Rafael knew how to distance himself. He never got overly attached to humans, though he enjoyed their company. Their fragility was always on his mind. He had to be careful, they both did. If they moved too quickly, or forgot to hide their true strength, then people would notice, and when people noticed, they had to move. Moving was just a part of their life, it's how they survived. It didn’t bother Rafael anymore; he knew not to get attached. 

On the other hand, Sonny loved being around the humans. Rafael had yet to see him move somewhere where he couldn’t make friends. He could blend in, fit it, become one of them without even trying. It was this that made moving so hard for Sonny. 

“We aren’t moving anytime soon, okay?” Rafael whispered, wishing it were true. 

They had to be careful, they could only stay in one place for a few years, having to move again before people realised they hadn’t aged a day since they first arrived. They had been in New York for almost a decade, and Rafael knew time was running out. 

“We’re gonna be late.” Sonny said, standing up. Rafael knew better than to say more, instead he stood up, and picked something up from the bed. 

“Alright, Mr. perfect attendance. I still can’t believe you’re making me wear a cape.”

Sonny laughed as Rafael fumbled with the strings. “Capes are sexy, Rafi.” He muttured, as he tied the strings before leaning down to kiss Rafael. 

“Capes are stupid.” Rafael mumbled against Sonny’s lips. They had been together for almost 200 years, yet Rafael still felt his stomach flip in moments like these. He could never get enough of Sonny. 

“Come on, we’ll be late.” Sonny pulled back, straightening his own cape. 

Rafael pouted. “One more for the road?” 

“Raf, it’s the lieu’s halloween party, she’ll kill us.” Sonny said, before sighing and kissing Rafael again. “Can we go now?”

-

“Oh, we totally have the best costumes.” Sonny whispered as they walked into Liv’s apartment. 

“Soleado, we are the only ones with costumes.” Rafael groaned. It’s a costume party, Sonny had said, bargaining until Rafael agreed to wear whatever costume his husband chose. 

“Which automatically makes them the best!” 

Rafael shook his head. “We’ll talk about this later.” He muttered, then made his way to the kitchen, not surprised to find Liv there. 

“Wow!” 

“Don’t start.” Rafael groaned, pulling the cape off and leaving it on the counter. 

Liv laughed and poured a drink for Rafael. “I swear, I never said it was a costume party, Carisi must’ve decided that himself.” 

“Yeah, he must’ve.” Rafael glanced around the room at the others, his gaze finally settling on Sonny, who was now talking to a new detective. 

Well, in all fairness, Mike Dodds had been with the squad for over a year, but Rafael had only spoken to him a few times. Sonny however, had taken a liking to him, as he did with most humans. 

Rafael watched the way he acted with Mike, and he felt jealous. When Sonny spoke to the detectives, he was interested in them, in their lives. He could talk to them about anything, and be happy just to listen. 

When Rafael spoke to them, all he could think about was how short their lives are, how easily they break. 

Rafael managed to pull his thoughts away from the fragility of humans as he followed Liv out of the kitchen. 

He took a seat at the back of the room as the Lieutenant put a movie on. The exorcist. A classic. He remembered seeing it for the first time with Sonny. 

Sonny sat next to Rafael, taking his hand in his own, apparently reading his thoughts. The film didn’t scare them, they had seen it so many times by now, but for the sake of keeping up pretenses, they jumped at the right moments, gasped at the scariest scenes. Small things – human things - like these made it easier to blend it. 

The rest of the night passed quickly. The movie ended and the games began. The games ended, and the detectives gradually began to leave. 

“Goodnight Liv.” Rafael said as he grabbed his cape from the kitchen. “Thanks for having us.”

“Great party, Lieu!” Rafael couldn’t suppress the smile on his face. His husband’s excitement about small things was one of the many reasons why Rafael loved him. 

Sonny wrapped an arm around Rafael once they got outside. “I’m sorry about the costumes, Rafi.”

“It’s fine. You suit being a vampire.” He joked. Sonny laughed, it was a loud laugh and it cut through the silent neighborhood. As his laughter died down, Rafael realized it wasn’t so silent. Someone had left the party behind them and Rafael already had a good idea of who it was. 

“Mind if I tag along?” 

“Mike! Of course.” Sonny’s arm dropped as he turned to face the detective. 

Rafael trailed behind as the pair broke into conversation. He didn’t mind listening, he enjoyed hearing Sonny talking about work. Rafael only wished he could make friends as easily as his husband, but he thought of how badly it affected Sonny when they had to move on. He would never understand the point of forming attachments just to break them later. 

“I’m going this way.” Mike said after a few blocks, pointing in the opposite direction from where Rafael and Sonny were going. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, of course! Goodnight Mike!” Sonny called as Dodds made his way down the street. 

“You’re working tomorrow?” Rafael asked, tucking his hand into the crook of Sonny’s arm. “I figured you’d take a break.” 

Sonny shrugged. “I’ll rest when I’m dead.” 

Rafael didn’t have time to laugh. They both heard the gunshot at the same time. 

Then the scream. 

Then they smelt it. The blood. 

Blood wasn’t unusual, especially for Sonny, he was used to it but this was different. 

This time, he recognized the scent of the blood. 

There had been an incident, a few months previous, when Mike Dodds had been shot on a case. Sonny remembered the smell of the blood as Mike was rushed to hospital. 

This was the same smell. The same blood. 

The realisation hit Sonny and Rafael at the same time, and within a few seconds they had ran back to where they left Mike. 

He was halfway down the street. On the ground. Bleeding. 

Sonny was next to him in an instant, but Rafael held himself back. Even from here, he knew. 

He took his time walking over to Sonny, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as he stopped behind him. 

“Sonny.. “ 

“No.” Sonny choked. “He can’t be.” 

He was. 

The blood had pooled around Mike’s body, flowing heavily from a bullet hole in his chest. His eyes were open, reflecting the stars, but he couldn’t see them. He couldn’t see anything. 

“Sonny, he’s gone.” Rafael whispered, trying to gently pull Sonny up. “He’s gone and we have to go.” 

Sonny let Rafael pull him off the ground. He barely noticed much else. He wasn’t sure if seconds, minutes or even hours had passed, but soon enough, they were home. 

Rafael steered Sonny towards the couch, gently pushing him down. 

“Soleado…“ He sighed. He didn’t want to say it. He looked down at his husband, covered in another man’s blood. “We have to move.”

Rafael knew Sonny didn’t want to hear this, not now, not anytime, but especially not now. It couldn’t be helped. 

“It doesn’t have to be soon, okay?” He continued, sitting next to Sonny and taking his hand. “It doesn’t have to be now, but it has to be done. We have to leave.”

“Rafi?” 

“Yes, my love?”

Sonny looked up, his blue eyes full of tears. “Don’t let me get attached again... please.” 

Rafael pulled his husband closer to him, kissing him gently on the forehead. He could try, it was all he could do, but Sonny would get attached again, he knew it. Someone would come along, in 10 years or 100 years, and Sonny would face the same pain he was facing now. 

“I won’t.”


End file.
